Read this post if you know a Nigerian Tailor

Uncle Kunle, this is for you.

The Dott signifies the end, but thank you for always starting new journeys with me.

This may be a really short blog post, but I got my heart broken by my tailor last night, so please bear with me. Before I get into it, please, nobody should come and drag me; I’m just a girl.

For as long as I can remember, Uncle Kunle has always been a fantastic tailor. Growing up, I remember my mom always giving him her clothes to sew, and anytime she got those clothes back, people always asked her who her “tailor” was. On different occasions, he’d make clothes for me and my siblings, and there were times I was in awe of how talented he is.

One of the things I hate about adulting is the fact that it shows you people’s truth, and while some might be beautiful, some of them may break your heart. Before we go further, please bear in mind that Uncle Kunle is my dad’s younger brother. Adulting happened, and then I started hearing about how Nigerian tailors always disappoint, but never in a million years did I think my own uncle would be the team leader.

Let’s put my uncle’s story aside, and let me tell you guys how I was disappointed last night. Over a month ago, I paid someone to make six dresses for me. I told her that she had to send them to Lagos by the end of July because we planned on sending all of our things to the UK then, and she assured me that my dresses would be ready before that time. Due to one thing or another, the sending date got extended, and I informed her that she had until the first week of August, and she assured me again that she’d be done by that time. I’ve been trying to reach her recently, but she hasn’t been online. When I called her via WhatsApp, she didn’t respond, so I called her with my mom’s Nigerian number, only for her to inform me that the dresses won’t be ready??? In my head, screws were coming loose, so I just hung up before I said the wrong things.

This morning, I was telling my friend about it, and I realized that at the end of the day, “men are scum” because if my uncle didn’t disappoint more than Nigerian politicians, then I wouldn’t be begging an outsider to sew my dresses.

My mom is one of God’s greatest soldiers. In fact, anytime my mom makes clothes with him, e remain small she’ll get high BP because it’s 50/50 either he makes it or he doesn’t and sometimes he ghosts her. I’ve seen toxic relationships, but theirs takes the cake. But the annoying thing is, he’s really good. Like, he’s 100% one of the best fashion designers that I’ve seen, but the problem is, making your clothes with him comes with a slight increase in your blood pressure. On different occasions, you’ll hear my mother on the phone telling him, “Broda Kunle, why ten Shey eleyi fun mi,” and whenever I hear their conversation, I always laugh because what do you mean “why?” He has always done this to you, so why did you think it was going to be different now? After the call, you’ll now hear my mother start talking about how whenever he makes her dresses, people always ask her where she made them from and how they always look like ready-made dresses. This is 100% true, but I always wonder if the dresses are worth the slight blood pressure that comes with it.

To be honest, I 100% believe that, like other “toxic relationships,” he does these things on purpose, and he knows that his customers will always come back because of how good he is. I remember one time in 2022, my aunt and I were in his shop, and my aunt was complaining about how he made a dress for somebody despite the fact that she came before that person. He told my aunt that the person was a very old lady, and when she approached him, she told him that people had been telling her that he wouldn’t sew the clothes on time, but she knew that they didn’t born him well to disappoint her. After saying this, she asked him if he’d sew her clothes, and he replied that he’d start immediately. So, for the first time in my uncle’s life, he didn’t disappoint a customer. What made this even funnier is the lady did not pay him a dime, but he made sure to deliver on time.

Last December, I saw this dress online that I loved, so I told my uncle to make it for me for my birthday, and he assured me over and over that he’d make it for me. In fact, he even called me on the day he went to the market. Chaiiii. Once again, please fear Nigerian tailors because till date, I no see anything. In fact, on different occasions, he’d randomly send me styles on WhatsApp to ask me if I wanted him to make it for me, but till date, ordinary material I didn’t see, not to now talk of a full cloth. Just that one small heartbreak that I faced, I didn’t sew cloth with him again, so I always wonder how and why my mother and aunt still go back. In my book, I refer to them as God’s strongest soldiers because that can never be me.

If you’re still reading and you’ve not experienced a “Nigerian Tailor,” then I really do need you to pray never to experience it. But if you have and you’re still “with the tailor,” then I’m going to have to hold your hand when I say this (mommy, please bring your hand too): that tailor is never going to change. In fact, he already knows that you’re not going anywhere, so he or she will only continue to get worse. So please leave them and find a better tailor because I am 100% sure there’s a tailor out there who respects your time and money.

P.S Just incase you see mistakes in this post, bear in mind that I wrote it on the train about 30 minutes ago.

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